You are part of the war on Christmas

REILLY: Time to shine

It's a sunny 60 degrees, the leftovers from Thanksgiving aren't past their expiration date and there's not a hint of snow in the forecast.
That can only mean that if you do not have your Christmas decorations up by now, all your neighbors will believe that you are part of the war on Christmas and have probably already reported you to the Department of Homeland Security or Pat Robertson, whichever is scarier.

You have probably noticed that over the years, Christmas decorations have been going up earlier and earlier on the homes in your neighborhood and getting ever more elaborate. There are two good reasons for this.

1.) People are just more filled with the spirit of the holiday season in these troubled times and feel the need to express it.

2.) The invention of the inflatable snow globe.

Once, the ultimate in outdoor Christmas decorations consisted of a string of colored lights, with bulbs the size of a Twinkie, adorning the shrubbery outside your front door. The really dedicated might also go for stringing lights along the roofline and the truly spirited (and by spirited here, I of course mean "insane") might even go for a polystyrene Santa and maybe an elf or two.

The avant garde couple down the street might just have white lights on the evergreens outside, but they also had an aluminum Christmas tree so they were a little suspect anyway.

Today however, the bare minimum (as defined by federal law) for outdoor holiday decorations is:

a) Lights (flashing or non-flashing) covering all natural plantings and of sufficient total wattage to be visible, unaided, from aircraft flying at 30,000 feet.

b) Three (3) religious or secular holiday figures (Rudolph, Santa, Wise Men, Frosty, etc. OR, Frosty, Rudolph and Santa dressed as Wise Men, etc.) animated or non-animated, with appropriate lighting.

c) One inflatable snow globe depicting a manger scene, Dickensian carolers or snowman family (which MUST consist of one snowman, one snowwoman and snowchild.)

d) One lighted seasonal sentiment, whether "Merry Christmas," "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays," depending on your religious persuasion and the acceptable voltage load on your household electrical system.

This is just the minimum. Of course, there is no need to imitate Dominic Luberto of the Jamaica Way in Boston who, (according to the Boston Globe of Nov. 20) has spent more than $10,000 on 250,000 Christmas lights and incurs a monthly electric bill of $1,100 through the holiday season.

Happy Holidays.

TOM REILLY is a Sun Chronicle news editor who spent the holiday weekend untangling his Christmas lights.

http://www.thesunchronicle.com


Khristian Krusader



Holiday and Seasons Greetings from
some asshole