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Friday, March 29 2024 @ 12:58 AM CDT

Why Jamie Lynn Spears Is Knocked Up

Whited Sepulchers

by Jesse Wendel

The red states have a vastly higher teen pregnancy rate than the blue. It isn't an accident.
Jamie Lynn Spears, sixteen, star of the Nickelodeon show Zoey 101, has announced she is twelve weeks pregnant with the child of her boyfriend, student Casey Aldridge, nineteen.

Jamie's pregnancy should not impact production of Zoey 101 which already completed production of its fourth season.

Sister Britney tonight denied Wednesday night her baby sister is pregnant. TMZ has the video.

I can't count as a paramedic how many teenage mom's I've had in the back of my rig. Or how often I've referred someone to Planned Parenthood for birth control. In fact, I referred a teenager there last week.

What isn't surprising to me is this child getting pregnant. Her home life is well known to not be of especially high quality. Born in McComb, Mississippi, just on the borderline of Louisiana, she was raised Baptist. Her sister is an addict. Her family life has been white trash with money. None of this is the recipe for being taught to use birth control religiously.

If she weren't the sister of a train-wreck of a major star (once renowned for her claimed virginity) or staring in her own television show, this would mean precisely nothing. It isn't as if teens don't get knocked up daily.

Don't think however it will force any Wing Nuts to deal honestly with pregnancy or birth control. As Sara has pointed out repeatedly at Orcinus -- read her Cracks in the Wall and Tunnels and Bridges series, and search for her articles on Mark Foley -- the fundies are quick to forgive their leaders human failings, knowing as they do that we are all born sinners.

The Wing Nut mothers will sigh a sigh over poor Jamie, make their daughters promise not to have sex. The daughters will all, "Of course Mommie. I'd never." And then on Friday nights with their boyfriends it'll be "Oh, Lance. That feels so... good."

The red states have a vastly higher teen pregnancy rate than the blue. It isn't an accident. Thanks to their fundy parents, the red states are filled with good girls.

The problem with being a good girl is, you can't use birth control. To have birth control is to admit you were prepared for sex, and to admit you were prepared for sex is to say what a little slut you are. That's worlds apart from being swept off your feet and onto your back, carried away in the moment by how good it feels, than to cold-bloodedly, like, you know, do it.

'Cause only sluts do it.

Good girls sometimes get carried away and make love. That can happen to anyone; who can help being overcome by loooove and passion. But just doing it?

Slut.

Jamie Lynn was raised a Baptist. She's a good girl.

Knocked up. But a good girl.

Thank God.

http://www.alternet.org


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