HiddenMysteries: The Wisdom of the Womb

by Veronica Monet

Womb isn't a particularly sexy word. A term for the uterus, womb also refers to a place where something is generated or an encompassing, protective space. Womb is where things originate and for the purposes of this column, womb is where orgasm and love can find their deepest expression.

My legs were suspended in the stirrups of a gynecological exam table when I first saw my womb. The OB/GYN nurse administering my first pelvic examination asked me if I would like to “see” as she handed me a mirror. I was eighteen and had absolutely no idea what the interior of my vagina looked like. I would like to report that my first glimpse of this part of my anatomy filled me with awe but such was not the case. Instead, I became a bit fearful and a little queasy. What was that fleshy protrusion with the small hole in the middle? It seemed alive with a mind of its own as it moved and quivered with my every breath.

Many years later I would find myself in line with about forty excited fans waiting to view Annie Sprinkle's womb. Known as the “prostitute and porn star turned sex educator and artist,” Annie's best known theater and performance art piece was her Public Cervix Announcement, during which she would invite the audience to view her cervix. At the San Francisco event I attended, a hush fell over the onlookers as one by one we took turns using a flashlight to peer into this rarely viewed inner sanctum of the female body.

My (then) husband refused to look. He was concerned that seeing the interior of a vagina might dampen his desire to be inside of one. I believe this fear is fairly common. Some men take this to the extreme when they are afraid to witness the births of their children. We live in a culture where matters of the womb such as menstruation and birth are verboten, so both men and women tend toward embarrassment and avoidance patterns in relationship to these very natural functions of female sexual anatomy.

Historically, women's wombs have been the battleground of gender politics, evoking efforts to suppress female sexual and creative power. At one time it was common practice to remove women's wombs [hysterectomy] to cure a litany of ills lumped together under the catch-all phrase, hysteria. Today, although hysteria is no longer treated with hysterectomy, the United States has the highest rate of hysterectomy of any industrialized nation. Hysterectomy is the second most frequently performed surgery on women, second only to cesareans, which constitute another medical assault on the womb.

In Reclaiming Our Health, my close friend John Robbins advises “Regardless of our gender, the female body was our gateway to life . . . If we are to bring healing to ourselves, to our society, and to our world, we must regain respect for our bodies, and particularly for women's bodies, for it is women who are most devalued, and it is women in whose wombs and hearts future generations are shaped.” [Chapter 1, page 11]

While our culture has eroticized the exterior of a woman's genitals (the vulva), we seem to avoid any awareness of the interior landscape past a cursory knowledge of its reproductive functions. However, the womb does more than make babies. It also generates pleasure and deep emotions. Author of Womb Wisdom, Padma Aon Prakasha, explains:

“The Womb is the key generator of tremendous creative potential, vitality, sensuality, heart power and manifestation. It not only births children, but projects spiritual potential, personal healing and the depths of relating we all yearn for. It brings fullness, balance and loving power to your deepest relationships, and is the crucible for Sacred Union between man and woman. It is vital for men to know, understand and work with as the womb births the divine masculine.”

Sex educator, Sheri Winston, details the importance of the womb to sexual response in Women's Anatomy of Arousal: “. . . the uterus is a player in the game of arousal and orgasm. As a woman gets turned on, muscle tension increases . . . This action lifts the womb up and forward while pleasurably tugging on the muscular opening of the vagina. As the woman's turn-on escalates, the womb is raised further and further up, like a taut bowstring being pulled way back . . . during orgasm, the uterus pulses up and down in a deep, slow, throbbing background rhythm that provides a bass counterpoint to the faster quivering of the pelvic floor muscles as they spasm. This pulsing adds emotional and erotic richness to the orgasm . . .” [Chapter 7, page 123]

The womb is a second heart, holding our secrets and fears, the tears we have cried over betrayal and lost love. The womb is a seat of power containing the birth of nations and our own creative force. When we connect to the womb, we tap into our core essence, which is love. When we approach the womb with respect, she blossoms into the lovely flower of all our desires and deepest cravings for connection and wholeness. The womb is a portal to the past, the present and the future. The womb invites us to feel more than we have ever felt before and to know our own truth. Pregnant with possibility, the womb beats to the timeless rhythm of the universe while connecting us to each other and ourselves with love and passion. Simply put, the womb is a doorway to the Divine.

A more holistic approach to our sexuality invites a blending of our emotions, passions and desires. Including the womb in our sexual landscape acknowledges the truth about female sexual anatomy - everything is connected! The clitoris, vulva, vagina, female prostrate, G-Spot, A-Spot, cervix and uterus form an awe inspiring whole capable of creating life, pleasure and intimacy. No wonder the ancients worshipped female genitalia.

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The Wisdom of the Womb, Part Two: Healing Sexual Trauma

Sexual trauma often occurs in response to incest, molestation and rape; but other events can incur sexual trauma as well. Both necessary and unnecessary medical procedures can lead to sexual dysfunction if they result in damage to the sex organs or pelvic trauma.
According to Dr. Jennifer Berman’s website, common causes of pelvic trauma include hysterectomy and medical interventions during childbirth. If your sexual response has been diminished by these procedures, Dr. Berman advises “It is important to seek evaluation and treatment from a doctor who is trained in diagnosing sexual dysfunction secondary to pelvic injury. You should be evaluated for blood flow, genital sensation, as well as receive a neurological work-up to determine the degree (if any) of nerve damage. Depending on the kind and extent of damage done, there are some treatments available including blood flow enhancing agents and devices, as well as creams that can help restore some degree of sensation and arousal.”

Many doctors still insist that procedures such as hysterectomy and episiotomy result in little to no reduction in sexual satisfaction for women. However, research such as that of Naomi Miller Stokes who “interviewed 500 women from all walks of life and from all over the United States regarding their experiences in the aftermath of hysterectomy” paints a different picture. Of the women surveyed, over 95 percent experienced less sexual desire after their hysterectomy and nearly 80 percent lost their sexual appetite completely. [Reclaiming our Health by John Robbins, chapter 7, page 135]

Addressing the physiological aspects of any sexual or pelvic trauma is very important. It is also important to heal the psychological and emotional aspects of trauma. While the culture grants a great deal of permission to grieve sexual trauma resulting from rape and molestation, individuals grieving a medical procedure may be hard pressed to find support for their emotional healing.

Whether you have undergone a medical procedure out of necessity or due to unimaginative or fallacious medical practice; if that procedure has resulted in sexual dysfunction, you will likely experience emotions of loss or even rage. Recognizing your feelings, giving yourself permission to have them and seeking treatment for grief and anger are crucial for good mental health.

Those who admonish us to “get over it” may mean well but such an approach rarely achieves the level of transformation most of us crave. Instead we are compelled to do the heavy lifting of discovering our deepest grief that we might be free of its lingering effects on our daily lives. That work can involve a variety of modalities including talk therapy, recovery groups, journaling and somatic therapies.

As both a survivor of incest and rape, I have been engaged in a long, fruitful journey of sexual recovery for over twenty-five years. Leaving anorgasmia behind and becoming multiply orgasmic required that I dig deep into sexual trauma.

In the beginning, I met with a therapist and attended several recovery groups. I kept a journal as well. While time consuming, giving my recovery my total focus netted me the dramatic, positive results I desired.

Body centered therapy soon followed. I beat my despair and rage into pillows. I visited body workers for massage, acupuncture and Rosen Work. Gradually, the numbness which often accompanies sexual trauma was replaced with sensations of both pleasure and pain which I was unfamiliar with. At times it was totally overwhelming but I stuck with it and when I got to the other side, I discovered pleasures I had never experienced before.

That pleasure was not just sexual. I also experienced laughter in a completely new way: from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I was elated and I became even more committed to a path of recovery.

While many different professionals and resources comprised my recovery from sexual trauma, there exist today even more treatments and resources for anyone seeking sexual wholeness and joy. For instance, Staci Haines’ DVD, Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma uses dramatic enactments of specific techniques in concert with expert instruction to create a very effective learning tool for anyone wishing to move past sexual trauma and toward sexual satisfaction and empowerment.

One section of the DVD addresses “triggers,” experiences which elicit a traumatic memory. For some this might be a specific word or phrase while others may find themselves flooded with feelings in response to a particular odor or visual cue. Most sexual abuse survivors battle a variety of triggers in response to certain forms of touch, whether sexual or otherwise.

Staci Hanes outlines what she refers to as a “Trigger Plan” with specific steps to it:

Trigger Plan:

1. Stop
2. Breathe
3. Choose:
a.) Change Activities (stop being sexual)
b.) Sexual Healing (go into the trigger)
c.) Center and Continue Sex

According to Staci Haines, as opposed to avoiding triggers, this approach ensures that sex, pleasure and connection win out.

After so many years of recovery from sexual trauma, it surprises some to discover that I am still recovering, still expanding my capacity for connection and pleasure. I suspect it will be a lifelong journey as I am not willing to settle for anything less.

Today, I am delving deeper into my womb. But don’t assume that entails a focus on anatomy. I do employ stimulation of internal erotic zones such as the G-spot, the A-spot and the cervix. But my main focus when approaching my womb is on my heart and my emotions.

I am discovering that much of my sexual history, both unpleasant and pleasant, resides inside of my body where the memories seem to be stored in the tissues but also in the energy centers. And this is an important point because whether you are a female with a womb or without a womb, and even if you are a person born with male anatomy who has never had a womb, the energy center associated with the womb resides inside of you nonetheless.

Some refer to this energy center as the “hara.” Considered to be important to tantric sex practices, this energy center can be envisioned as an emotional womb regardless of your gender. By connecting with this energetic aspect of your sexual self you can embark on a journey of “sexploration” which can take you to the heart of sex, where sex and spirit meet!

http://www.edenfantasys.com

The Wisdom of the Womb

Tuesday, October 18 2011 @ 02:11 PM CDT