Satan steaming up our world

By CHRISTOPHER FOULDS

Now that’s a relief!

The warmer winters? The violent windstorms? The ferocious hurricanes? All those deadly tornadoes? The melting of the ice up north?

Not our fault, after all.

It has been revealed that global warming is the work of the devil, whose primary aim these days seems to be turning Christians into environmentalists, instead of the evangelists intended by God.

We can thank the esteemed Rev. Jerry Falwell for this shocking revelation, because it means we can keep driving our Humvees, keep flying to our vacation spots and finally rid ourselves of pesky irritants like the Kyoto Protocol.

On the other hand, now that the devil has been exposed as the cause of global warming, what will the likes of David Suzuki and Al Gore do with their time, now that their obsession has been cleared from their daybooks?

Falwell, who from time to time feels a need to ensure people remember who he is — lest they forget the horror that was (and still is in a thankfully watered-down form) the Moral Majority — decreed Sunday that Lucifer himself is cranking up the Earth’s temperature.

According to the Associated Press, Falwell told his Lynchburg, Va. Baptist congregation that global warming is “Satan’s attempt to redirect the church’s primary focus” from evangelism to environmentalism.

He preached that “the jury is still out” on whether humans are the cause of global warming, and opined that Christian leaders who have joined the environmental movement against global warming have been conned by campaigners such as Al Gore, who happened to win an Oscar for his documentary An Inconvenient Truth, mere hours after Falwell’s pontifications.

If Satan is indeed behind global warming, that leads to the obvious question for the good reverend: Was God behind the ice ages? And why?

Seems to us that Satan could be behind global warming. Or it could be Mother Nature’s fluctuations. The again, humans really could be the cause.

Most likely, however, global warming is being exacerbated by the hot air being emitted from the mouths of buffoons like Falwell and company.

http://www.wltribune.com