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Thursday, March 28 2024 @ 02:13 PM CDT

Another Bush Loving, Family Values, RepubliKON devours Children in Private Sexcapade

Whited Sepulchers

Do What I Say, Not Whom I Do.

by: Jurassicpork

What do you get when you pour 800 pounds of semi-congealed bacon grease into an all-you-can-eat buffet muu-muu, mixing in a generous dollop of pedophilia and right-proper Christian hypocrisy? Former South Dakota Republican State Rep. Ted Klaudt, that's what.

Howie Klein, Digby, Tristero, DKos' and MLW's thereisnospoon and Crooks and Liars have already weighed in on this super heavyweight wad o' fuck but that's the beauty of the blogosphere, ain't it? Being able to pile on to make sure the message gets out?

Last Friday, Ted Klaudt, former Republican lawmaker and evangelical Holier Than Thou holy roller, was arrested and charged with "eight counts of rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, two counts of witness tampering, sexual contact with a person under 16, and stalking."


Ted Klaut, Made in the image of Jerry Falwell

He’d allegedly violated two foster children whom South Dakota had paid him and his wife to raise, a cousin of one of the children, and two state congressional pages. So far, Klaudt is accused of molesting at least five children. Fortunately for those girls, Klaudt hasn’t been able to touch his dick much less see it since 1989.

Here’s the 26 page affidavit in .PDF format, but I wouldn’t read it unless you don’t plan on eating for the rest of the year.

Much has already been made of Klaudt being accused to molesting two underaged children that the state of South Dakota had paid for him to care for. Much has been made of Klaudt allegedly molesting two pages thoughtfully provided for him, once again, by the state of South Dakota.

Among the allegations: That Klaudt had used a speculum with which he’d collected body fluids from the two foster children. How did he do this? By promising the girls that they could earn a lot of money towards college by letting him harvest their eggs. In a scene that must’ve been right out of a horror movie (Think The Blob Meets Lolita), authorities found the speculum in his briefcase.

Now, it would be simplistic to speculate that perhaps this hypocritical morality isn’t really hypocritical at all but a mere cover under which to indulge in their twisted perversions. But that’s not what I get from this.

People like Klaudt actually believe that there’s Them and there’s Us. And that the rules simply don’t apply to Us. Present them with testimony by their victims and they’ll call them liars, liberals or traitors. Make a strong case and they’ll accuse you of playing political football with it and creating a smear campaign. Let them off the hook and they’ll slink back into the dark, fetid basement of their psyches and do it all over again.

You could show a videotape of Klaudt actually sticking the speculum up those girls and he’d claim it wasn’t him. You can’t believe what you see and hear because we shape reality.

But above all, remember this golden rule: The rules never, never apply to Republicans.

Now, according to some South Dakota legislators, we ought to be forgiving of such transgressions because "elected officials are only human."

Uh huh. Well, in Klaudt’s case, let’s just say that I’m a man of little faith.

By the end of the article, several anonymous lawmakers pleaded with people to not politicize the allegations, stating, "it has nothing to do with someone's party, whether it be Republican or Democrat."

Hm. I’m going to venture out to the outermost extremity of the branch and speculum, er, speculate that that was said by a certain political party that loves to save zygote-Americans so they can send them off eighteen years later to get killed 6000 miles away. Or molest them the minute they hit puberty

Sure, we won’t politicize it, fellas. Even though Klaudt represented the ultra far right, ultra evangelical, hyper-moralistic faction of South Dakota politics and is just the umpteenth hypocritical Republican scumbag with his hand caught in either a) the cookie jar, b) down a page’s pants or c), in Klaudt’s case, both and often.

Sure, what’s to politicize, considering that the GOP is the party of personal responsibility, the party of family values and the Chosen Party of God Himself? Payback, us? After the GOP politicized the Justice Department under both the current administration and even during the Clinton administration over an extramarital affair with an actual grown woman? Us? Na-a-a-ah.

All the same, guys, we bloggers are only human, too.

http://www.bigbrassblog.com


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