Christianity Today: Huckerbee's Other Son Loves Him Some Porno

I can’t tell which kid it was in the picture, but Mike Huckabee’s son John Mark — the one who didn’t kill the dog — might have had quite the porn stash while attending Ouachita Baptist University, from where he graduated in 2000.
Totes hilare details from a witness.

A reader writes:

For what it’s worth: I went to college with John Mark Huckabee … at Ouachita Baptist University in the late ’90s. John Mark had the biggest porn magazine collection on campus and used to delight his nerd-friends by reading aloud Penthouse Letters he composed and submitted for publication. Not sure if any of them were ever published…. I was present in the dorm room of a mutual friend on one occasion while JM was reading his letters aloud, so this is first hand information.

Mike Huckabee for president.
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It turns out that all those rumors about David Huckabee hanging a dog at Boy Scout camp in 1998 are, like, true. And, if a fired former employee of Huckabee Sr. is to be believed (because, really, who would ever talk smack about their former employers?), the Huck tried to make it all go away.

Word is that David and his best buddy hanged a stray dog while they were counselors at a Boy Scout camp, but no charges were ever filed and David eventually became an Eagle Scout despite being fired from his “job” as a Boy Scout camp counselor for torturing a fucking stray dog. While neither confirming nor denying the incident, Huck tolld Newsweek “There was a dog that apparently had mange and was absolutely, I guess, emaciated.”

Well, Mikey and Davey, let me just say something here. I am personally addicted to Animal Cops (and Animal Precinct) on Animal Planet and thus I know two things about emaciated dogs with mange. First off, emaciated dogs are not “dead” and nor are they always beyond salvation, if only because my cold, black heart stirs every single time some sad, emaciated doggie is nursed back to health and adopted by a nice family. Also, there are two common types of mange and both are reasonably treatable (but only a vet with a microscope can make that determination). So, assholes, neither was a fatal condition that should’ve enabled an 18 year-old to determine whether the dog needed to be put out of its misery (unless, say, said sociopathic 18 year-old was more concerned with “the putting” than “the misery”) and hanging isn’t exactly a humane way to go about doing it, either.

But, whatever, Mikey was governor and his sociopathic son tortured and murdered a helpless stray dog at Boy Scout camp and then Mikey may-or-may-not have tried to sweep it all under the rug. I mean, it is more of a reflection on Mikey and his fitness to lead this country that his son is a dog-killing (and gun-toting-in-his-carry-on-luggage) sociopath, or that he tried to protect his son from the consequences of his dog-killing sociopathic ways? God, it’s like trying to play Solomon or something…

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