The Bible As A Murder Weapon

In the right hands the bible can be a very sophisticated weapon, and through proper usage, it will even justify murder. There's little to be gained from bludgeoning someone to death with it, that would be silly and a waste of a great resource. Besides, there's enough blood spilled inside the bible and removing blood stains from it's leather bindings is troublesome.

The only time the "Good Book" should be used as a 'blunt instrument' is when dispensing 'home discipline'. This is where a heafty clout from the KJV will prove most benificial. After all, what's few major bruises compared to an eternity in Hell? Your children will thank you for the experience and will gain a new respect for Jesus, God, and Christian family values.


By far the best way is to follow the examples of some of Christianity's spiritual leaders and use the words of God to help to create a climate of fear and hatred. In such a climate hate crimes, upto and including murder, are easily excused. In fact, given the right build-up, murder can be expected and condoned as 'God-given justice'.

Murder In Easy Stages

STAGE ONE: Finding a group to hate

Not usually a problem and is very often the easist part. If you have any problem picking one particular group to dispise, pick one from the following list.

~ Pagans
~ Atheists
~ Liberals
~ Homosexuals
~ ACLU members
~ Civil rights activists
~ Women's rights supporters
~ Reproductive rights advocates
~ Those who practice other religions.
~ Those who practice a different denomination of your own religion.

Please bear in mind that you NEVER ADMIT TO HATING. You have to claim that you hate what they stand for or what they do in the privacy of their minds, churches, meetings or bedrooms. Although anyone with an IQ higher than a plastic duck will realise that your hatred is unfounded and based on your own ignorance and prejudices, it's important to maintain a facade.

Of course, to you and your followers the logic of your argument is completely sound and you can't understand how you come across as being unreasonable... Practice saying "love the sinner, hate the sin." If you say it often enough you may even believe it yourself.

STAGE TWO: Justify the hate using the bible

Again, not a problem. You can be certain that God hates the same people as you. Chauvinism, misogyny, homophobia, racism, and all other forms of bigotry and discrimination can be readily justified through the "correct interpretation" of biblical verse. Of course it's a given the only "correct interpretion" is yours.

Don't be afraid to do what Christians are fond of accusing others of doing: quoting out of context. The vast majority of Christians have never read their own bible and are more than happy to accept whatever interpretion their leaders give them, especially if it reinforces their own prejudices.

Don't think that women should have equal rights? Use Genesis 3:16:

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
Want to justify your racism? Genesis 9:25 will be useful to you:

"And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren"
and is often cited to prove that people of African descent are under a special curse from God. It is stated that in fulfillment of this curse, God intends for black people to serve whites, or at least be subservient to them.

Fancy a bit of gay bashing? Christianity is the religion most hostile to homosexuals, usually citing Genesis 19: 1-11 to prove that God found homosexuality so abhorrent that he destroyed Sodom for it. Don't read the full text of Genesis 19 because you are so sure that you know what it means and you don't want to be confused with the other biblical facts contained in the rest of the chapter.

What is ironic about the Christian hostility towards homosexuals is that there is a good chance that Jesus was gay.

How about killing a Pro-Choice doctor? You'll have to be careful on this one because even a cursory reading of the Good book reveals that God is all for pro-choice and the bible actually supports abortion. Most of those who are anti-abortion on religious grounds assume that because they oppose it the bible must be against it too. Quoting out of context is essential on this issue.

As is the ability to ignore such things as:

God giving instuctions to dash infants against rocks.
God instucting men to rip open the wombs of pregnant women.
God placing absolutely no value on the life of a fetus.

STAGE THREE: Bring out the venom and justify your hatred using the bible

Time to focus on what you are trying to do: making a place where intolerance is the law of land. A place where your bigotry, narrow-mindedness, and fanaticism is accepted as the norm. A place where one message should fit all: If you are not exactly like me, think like me, look like me, raise your children like me, worship like me, believe in your heart like me, you are wrong and deserve to be punished.

Boost your argument by adding some fire-and-brimstone quotes from the bible. After all, there's plenty of death, destruction, murder, mayhem and genocide in the Bible. Emphasize that God is on your side in this matter, and those on the opposing side are going against God.

"The bible was written by God himself and everything in it is holy and should be taken with great seriousness. Going against me is going against God Himself. We are on the side of righteousness. Our hatred is pious and God-given and assures our place in Heaven. Oppose God and spend eternity in hell!".
Toss in a few references to the hell so loving built by your All-loving God:

And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth" ~ Matthew 25:30.

"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death" ~ Revelation 21:8.

"And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom" ~ Luke 16:23.

Any suggestion that hell is a Christian invention should be meet with scorn and derision. If anyone has the temerity to ask why there is no mention of hell in the Old Testament use that good old Christian cliche"Just because it's not mentioned in the Old Testament doesn't mean it didn't exist."

STAGE FOUR: Praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

Once you've siezed the moral high-ground and persuaded yourself and others that you have a mandate from God it's time to stir up the masses and it matters little if what you say makes very little sense:

"These liberal-gay-pagan-atheist-abortion-loving-equal-rights activists are out to destroy our great nation! They are determined to undermine everything! Do not be deceived by Satan! Recall Acts chapter 17: 11 “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” Praise the Lord!"

Because in the right hands ~ yours of course ~ hatred is a very useful human emotion. Tell them that the devout will go to Heaven and they will do anything to satisfy their greed to get there. Killing "evildoers" is just a small part of what they'll be willing to do to assure themselves of a place.

Blame it on the victim and praise the Lord!

It goes without saying that any trouble caused had nothing to do with your rabble-rousing. The victims brought God's wrath on themselves. It was God's merciful and benevolent judgment on them. Take courage and remember you're the holy one. There's nothing wrong with anything you've done. "If God wants to punish those sick homosexuals by giving them AIDS then we should all praise Him! And Jesus!

If anyone criticizes your misuse of religion, just claim that everyone worships God their own way and that it is a free country.

“A horrible and shocking thing has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy lies,
the priests rule by their own authority, and my people love it this way.… ” Jeremiah 5:30–31

“From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.”
Jeremiah 6:13–14

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