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Tuesday, September 22 2020 @ 04:38 PM CDT

Another Reich-Wing A**Hole Says Haiti Earthquake May Be God's Wrath

Whited Sepulchers

by Tana Ganeva

We don't use A**hole lightly.

Yet another great religious thinker has joined Pat Robertson in pondering the most important question about the tragedy in Haiti: whether or not the 7.0 earthquake that has killed thousands and devastated the country's infrastructure was the act of a vengeful God.

(proof: The left is RIGHT and the right is WRONG!)

"Each time there is mass devastation due to acts of nature in areas of the world there is discussion as to whether or not these are acts of God’s judgment." writes Rev. Bill Shuler, pastor of Capital Life Church, on What makes God mad enough to level an entire nation? Whoring and boobs and drinking and witchcraft, of course. Continues Shuler:

When Katrina was flooded some people pointed to the decadent offerings of Mardi Gras and the French Quarters of New Orleans. When the tsunami hit southeast Asia people noted the severe persecution of people of faith in these nations. Haiti has been described, by some, as a place where the practice of witchcraft is prevalent.

But wait! The Reverend is not 100% sure that this Tuesday, God decided to finally stick to Haiti. In fact, "That God would exclusively want to exact a toll on Haiti or any other people group is inconclusive." So, maybe, maybe not. What makes Shuler keep such an open mind?

Because ... bad things happen to white people too. Duh. "To hold to such a conviction is to maintain that a tornado that wipes out a church in Oklahoma is also God’s judgment."

Spiritual leaders! Bad news when you are literally 1 million times less helpful than Brangelina.

To be fair, Shuler does end his mindblowingly insane commentary by belatedly bringing in Jesus and all the stuff about loving your neighbor. "A God of love compels us to take responsibility for those in need. Jesus identified with the vulnerable when he declared that what we do on behalf of those in need we do unto him. His words stripped his hearers of all rights to judge and placed upon them a clear mandate to offer themselves in loving service." (though the section is curiously lacking in suggestions for organzations taking donations.)

Does his final message of universal love stick with readers? Let's check in with the comments:

ing19472000 performs their Christian duty be offering up this totally unrelated swipe at Obama:

Is God punishing Haiti? Why no he isn't, he's giving them $100 million dollars. Oh oh you mean that other god. Gosh I don't know I was thinking you were talking about America's god we have in DC now. Sorry my mistake.

mmhm opts for the vengeful Old Testament God route, rather than the woosy Jesus stuff.

Earthquake trivia - a few days before the 7.0 earthquake in haiti, God also judged california (that bit of heathen earth around the san francisco bay area). Yet, God only sent a 4.1 earthquake to that aids-infected, gay-loving, god-hating region. So, what did the haitians do that could possibly be so much worse that the san franciscans to warrant a 7.0 quake?

Wonderful. Here are some slightly more helpful things that you can do.

You may have heard of this already, but there are very easy ways to contribute through text message: Can donate to the American Red Cross by texting the word HAITI to 90999 -- an automatic $10 donation is made. You can also give to Wyclef Jean's foundation by texting the word “Yele” to 501501.

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