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Thursday, May 28 2020 @ 02:30 AM CDT

Highway Closed After Semen Spill

General News

by Liz Langley

We didn't know until today that bull semen could be steamy or smelly...

When you hear that a bus driver in Tennessee lost his load and now there’s semen all over the highway, there’s a lot of things you might be tempted to imagine in that dreamy way of yours. Maybe Paul Bunyan was driving the bus and that explains the volume involved. Maybe the driver pulled out. Or maybe he was transporting bull semen, packed in dry ice and headed for a Texas breeder, and it fell out of the bus and caused a rush hour shutdown on a U.S. highway.

Hint: it was bull semen.

Reuters reported that the driver “alerted the fire department he had lost a part of his load while negotiating the ramp on a highway near Nashville,” but WKRN in Nashville said that it was a passing motorist who alerted authorities and the steaming, smelly canisters were traced to the Greyhound bus after officials found bus tickets on the ground.

WKRN reports that bull semen is routinely transported via Greyhound but that it’s not stored near passenger belongings. Typically, canisters like the ones that fell off the bus can hold between 300 and 400 straws of frozen sperm, with each straw being worth up to $50. The load that fell off the bus could have been worth $80,000.

Congratulations to the WKRN reporters on the accompanying video who kept better poker faces throughout the report than Anderson Cooper, who so charmingly and totally lost it when commenting on Gerard Depardieu’s in-flight whizzing mishap last week.

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