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 Forum Index > Sex-Love-Whatever Floats Your Boat > Sexual Quotes
 Sexy Quoting
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By: Admin (offline) on Saturday, August 27 2011 @ 11:31 PM CDT (Read 2374 times)  

"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography." (Robert Byrne)

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." (P. J. O'Rourke)

"Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around." ~ David Lodge

"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children." ~ Mark Twain

"It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins." ~ Chinese Proverb

"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin." ~ Groucho Marx

"I know nothing about sex, because I was always married." ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Anticipation makes the hard-on longer." ~ Itsby Stevintary

"The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on." ~ Anon

"A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are." ~ Victor Lownes

"A nymphomaniac is someone who has more sex than you do." ~ Alfred Kinsey

"Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man." ~ Mignon McLaughlin

"A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: 'because everything does.'" ~ Honor Tracy

"Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact." ~ Marlene Dietrich

"Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands." ~ Jayne Mansfield

"Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions." ~ Aldous Huxley

"Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Anon

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." ~ Anon

"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex--they should draw the line at goats." ~ Elton John

"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night: 'you're a pervert.' I said, 'That's a big word for a girl of nine.'" ~ Emo Philips

"Sex on television can't hurt you, unless you fall off." ~ Anon

"Were kisses all the joys in bed,
One woman would another wed." ~ William Shakespeare

"He in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him." ~ Henry Fielding

"I once knew a woman who offered her honor
So I honored her offer
And all night long I was on her and off her." ~ Anon

"Be naughty--save Santa a trip. ~ Anon

"I think I could fall madly in bed with you." ~ Anon

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less." ~ Brendan Francis

"Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable." ~ Lord Chesterfield

"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble." ~ John Barrymore

"When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave." ~ Anon

"Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity." ~ Mignon McLaughlin

"How lucky we are that we can reach our genitals instead of that spot on our back that itches." ~ Flash Rosenberg

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty." ~ John Waters

"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?" ~Rita Rudner

"The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm." ~Anon

"For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time." ~ Isabel Allende

"I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them." ~ Jay McInerney

"Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite." ~ Mignon McLaughlin

"Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex." ~ Barbara Cartland

"What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? 'Honey, I'm home!'" ~ Ken Hammond

"Pornography: That which excites, whether from approval or disapproval." ~ Leonard Rossiter

"My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live." ~Erica Jong

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." ~ Gloria Leonard

"What's the difference between art and pornography? . . . a government grant! ~ Peter Griffin

"Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand." ~ Angela Lambert

"Pornography is in the loin of the beholder." ~ Charles Rembar

"Pornography is supposed to arouse sexual desires. If pornography is a crime, when will they arrest makers of perfume?" ~ Richard Fleischer

"There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted." ~ Judith Martin, in Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior

“It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don’t believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it.” –Winston Churchill

. . . and, lastly, the following from Woody Allen:

"My brain: it's my second favorite organ."

"Don't knock masturbation--it's sex with someone I love."

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"Sex relieves tension--love causes it."

"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful--provided you get between the right man and the right woman."

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."

[On bisexuality]: "It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best."

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

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